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April 2017<\/p>\nApril 2017<\/p>\n
I am so grateful \u2026 when God wants my attention \u2013 when I really need to be learning something, He creates the most amazing times of stillness for me. I can be way to busy and way too caught up in crazy to-do lists that often involve other people, BUT when I feel that sinking overwhelm \u2013 He ALWAYS gives me a way out.<\/p>\n
I have felt a little out of whack \u2013 in need of an alignment \u2013 for the past couple months. I have things that are important to me, God given dreams that seem to land on my back burners because something else was more urgent. All those years of project management training and skill building and I still get sucked into the tyranny of the urgent. One truth\u00a0has been right in front of me in so many ways for the past month. Mixing up different translations:<\/p>\n
1 Corinthians 10:13<\/p>\n
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he\u2019ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he\u2019ll always be there to help you come through it. He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
He always provides! Provision this month came packaged in a 103.3 fever \u2026 yes it is odd to think of illness as provision, yet in this case it is absolutely true. When I am that sick and have so many days in bed, I can\u2019t do much more that lay there and think! For a couple of days, I was too tired to even read. It is in those moments, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, God\u2019s got me. The most clear headed I got was saying God \u2013 what do you need me to know?<\/p>\n
In my heart, I heard the whispers \u2013 you need to take care of you! I\u2019d love to report that was the end of the conversation and I responded with an ok \u2013 no problem \u2013 NOT! I may have had the fever for over a week to have the appropriate wrestling time to understand what God was really saying.<\/p>\n
My temptation \u2013 my urgency \u2013 often shows up in service to others. It isn\u2019t a bad thing until I am sacrificing my health all the way to my physical self. My serving gets out of whack with a bad case of self-sufficiency. God was gentle and kind as he showed me how this pattern plays out that He wants me to work on.<\/p>\n
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- Someone I love has a need (Thad is in a really bad car accident).<\/li>\n
- I mostly drop everything to help (He needed 24×7 help).<\/li>\n
- I feel guilty for not getting my stuff done (I stopped doing pretty much everything but my quiet time \u2013 no meal planning, no house cleaning, all the basic home management stuff).<\/li>\n
- I sacrifice my sleep to find more hours in the day to pretend to get caught up (I\u2019d wake up at 4a and decide to dust \u2013 what?).<\/li>\n
- I end berating myself that I am not doing more (Thad is injured, not me; it is weak to need help to take care of family).<\/li>\n
- When I finally raise the white flag and admit the overwhelm, I don\u2019t know how to ask for help, I am not specific in what I need to a broad enough audience. (What can someone else do? Why would people help me?).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Confession<\/strong>: I am not ok and haven\u2019t been ok for a while. I love taking care of my husband and I am so grateful that he is alive to take care of. It will never be a burden to love him well. AND I need to create balance. I need to sleep. I need to relieve stress. I need down time. I need to eat food that nourishes and supports me.<\/p>\n
Thad is getting better. I am watching miracles every day as God continues to heal his brain. It is an honor to have a front row seat to his transformation. Now I need to allow myself to be transformed as well. I can overcome the temptation that my needs don\u2019t matter right now \u2013 only with God\u2019s help. It is time to start my journey to get back into alignment \u2013 to find my health and wellness integrity again.\u00a0\u00a0 God \u2013 I am listening \u2026 I will follow your lead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
April 2017 I am so grateful \u2026 when God wants my attention \u2013 when I really need to be learning something, He creates the most amazing times of stillness for me. I can be way to busy and way too caught up in crazy to-do lists that often involve other people, BUT when I feel … <\/p>\n