Mar 17

C is for Commit

This isn’t some fluffy fly-by-night concept.  This is the dig in, get dirty, do whatever it takes to get to the other side concept.

Commit.

To yourself.  To the process. To your dreams.

Most of us have no idea what we are capable of accomplishing.  This is where you find out what you are really made of.

When you are invested and you want something bad enough, you make it happen.  When you are in enough pain and there is the slightest chance that something could be different, you do it. When you dream it is possible, you chase after it.  It’s your whole heart, mind, and soul fully engaged!

This is not something to take lightly or expect to have the emotions carry you through.  If you want to change and you want to succeed, you will need to go all in and burn the boats behind you. (If you are wondering what this means, you can read the whole story here.) Any consideration of Plan B weakens your commitment to Plan A!

Seal of every back door, window, escape hatch or alternate route.  You are in it to win it and you will never accept failure. This also doesn’t mean you are promised the ending you desire according to your plans – it simply means that you are fully dedicated to this course of actions … as Les Brown says, “It’s not over until I win!”  Whether 5 days, 5 months, 5 years or 5 decades – I will see this through … Go ALL in!

Mar 15

B is for Believe

Once a new thought is allowed in – it is time to fertilize it!  Give it room to grow and become something amazing, something joy filled, something really cool in your life. 

Believe anything is possible.

Borrow belief if you need to.  

I remember the doctor’s in the hospital telling me Thad was going to be ok.  I will never forget Dr. Newsome grabbing my shoulders and saying “Girl! You have got to believe he can get better!  I don’t know when and I don’t know what it will look like, but I promise you – your husband can live a very fulfilled life. And YOU need to believe that enough for both of you.  God’s got this!”

And we haven’t looked back.  There are times when it was scary and I had to borrow belief from someone else.  There are times when I have wondered if she was out of her everloving mind.  There are times when I can feel God pulling us through.  And there are other times when I felt like I could conquer the world.  The fact is – I serve a big God that allowed this to happen for our good and His glory. Am I willing to believe that our journey can still take us to places we always dreamed of going?

Mar 14

A is for Allow

I may have been the most rigid, non-flexible rule-following scheduled-to-the-minute person on the face of the planet at one point in my life.  God has used my marriage, my friends, my circles, service opportunities and really hard circumstance to change this one thing about me. I guess you could say I am a recovering control freak!

Allow a new thought or idea to come in.

Be willing to open and possibly even change your mind.  I promise this is possible. You too can survive a new and different thought!

I thought my life was going to “look” a certain way – long marriage, a house full of kids, a fulfilling career, world travels, grandkids to spoil – and instead we have no human kids and got to experience all kinds of unusual medical issues for our 23 years of marriage. Yet we are still standing!  Bring on the new ideas!!!!

Mar 12

17 months

Today is 17 months post injury for Thad and it also marks Day 1 of the next leg of his journey.

He first attempted going back to work last April – then had a setback in May – started building up again in June and made it up to almost 23 hours a week before the next setback at the end of September.

This time – the doctors reduced his hours considerably. He was working a couple of days and then therapy on the other days. He has been working as hard as he could. Seriously – he has been busting it with therapy and limited work hours. And it has taken a toll.

At our last doctor’s appointment, there was a lot of discussion about what is best for Thad long term … we prayed, we had meetings with other members of his care team and with his HR team (and yes – his work has been so incredibly supportive since the day of the accident)!

Today the decision was made for Thad to go back to full time long term disability so that he can get some needed rest and focus exclusively on his healing.

Please keep my hunky man in your prayers as he works through this transition. God’s got this and we both know it is absolutely what is best for him long term!

#godsgotthis #notalone #braininjuryawarenessmonth#braininjurysucksbutwontwin #thadiswhatdeterminationlookslike

Mar 09

ABC’s of Success

Change is always a process!  When we start to think about changing something, we tend to mull things over and plan it out and then begin implementing the steps.  Sometimes we may drag our feet through the process and others we jump in excited with both feet.

Then there is the shocking, often traumatic, change brought on by an instantaneous unexpected event.  It takes our mind, our routines and our daily living a little time to catch up with our human need to understand.  

I am a very structured and routine kind of girl.  I like a solid framework that I can swing on and if that shifts, it can take me a while to catch up.  I think that was my first year or so following Thad’s accident.  It turned my world inside out and upside down and I could barely remember that I was supposed to breathe.

I became mechanical as I was the only one to take care of all the paperwork for car insurance, health insurance, his disability stuff through work, and everything related to our home.  All of these things needed to be done, but my top priority was to take care of Thad!  I was so freaked out that it felt like all I could do was sit and stare at him.  Was he ok? Was he breathing? Would I hear him if he needed me? Was he going to have another seizure? Would he have another nightmare? I wanted to be right there for anything!  I was smacked with precious fragility of human life! I was so grateful I was buried under paperwork instead of needing to bury him even though I went from having a partner that leads me to a 6′ tall 200 lb infant.  He needed medicine around the clock and was unable to do anything for himself – walk, talk, bathe, eat … To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.

Reflecting back over the last year and a half, God has refined me in ways I could never have imagined wanting or needing.  Yet I stand firm and say I am grateful.  There is nothing about this season that was easy – the need to deal with the grief and loss is a very real thing.

I am grateful that He always knows what is best for me.  He knows the plans He alone had for me before He laid the foundation of the earth.  He knows what He wants for me and He will guide me if I let Him.  Over the next few weeks, I will share with you the ABCs God taught me as Thad was relearning his.

 

Thank God! He deserves your thanks.
    His love never quits.
Thank the God of all gods,
    His love never quits.
Thank the Lord of all lords.
    His love never quits.

 

Thank the miracle-working God,
    His love never quits.
The God whose skill formed the cosmos,
    His love never quits.
The God who laid out earth on ocean foundations,
    His love never quits.
The God who filled the skies with light,
    His love never quits.
The sun to watch over the day,
    His love never quits.
Moon and stars as guardians of the night,
    His love never quits.

God remembered us when we were down,
    His love never quits.
Rescued us from the trampling boot,
    His love never quits.
Takes care of everyone in time of need.
    His love never quits.
Thank God, who did it all!
    His love never quits!

Psalm 136: 1-9, 23-26

Mar 05

Had a goal! Stayed the Course! Made it Happen!

Over the past 3 years of helping people get healthier and happier with Plexus – the biggest questions I get asked are When will I lose weight? and How long does it take?

I answer honestly – I have NO IDEA! That’s right – I don’t have a clue! I don’t know what your body needs most. I don’t know what your body needs to heal first. What I can tell you is that if you use the products consistently, drink your water, and we work together for troubleshooting and tweaking – IT WILL WORK! I have seen too much success and too much life change for anyone to convince me otherwise.

I also know that these are plant based supplements which means they take time – 1 month for every year of “issue”! Are you willing to go the distance to have a life you never imagined? I was! I was desperate for something to work when I started on Plexus at the suggestion of my neurologist. He had seen it work for others and I was a tough case and traditional medicine wasn’t doing diddly-squat to relieve my symptoms!

I had been sick and had health issues my entire life – starting with pneumonia at 6 weeks old and migraines at 6 years old – over 40 years of sickness! Then throw in all kinds of fun from genetic auto-immune yuck and bizarre allergy issues and life was one big blur of doctor visits!

2012 I thought I had finally gotten my health under control! Over a 10 year window through diet and exercise – I lost 100 pounds and found out triathlons were actually fun! I got a PR for an olympic distance triathlon (that’s me in my victory pose after the race) and was tweaking nutrition to be ready for my next race then BAM! I got taken completely out by my neurological issues – as in ICU taken out. The medications and treatments that saved my life also caused me to gain close to 30 pounds within a month AND they didn’t alleviate the pain or help with any of the symptoms I was having.

It was awful – 5 different doctors over 2 years and none of them had a clue on how to help me because none of them could specifically say what was wrong or what had caused the sudden implosion my body was fighting through. I was having difficulty walking, talking, swallowing, moving all with a deep daily head pain. So I really was desperate for anything to work.

My Plexus HEALTH Victories:
Month 1 – my puffiness improved and I went from a tight 16 to a comfortable 14
Month 2 – my daily pain was consistently less
Month 4 – I had my first pain free day in over 2 years
Month 9 – my BP was normal again
Month 13 – my bloodwork started to change
Month 15 – I was off all medications
Month 21 – another pants size down to a snug 12
Month 29 – hit 5 pounds of weight loss
Month 35 – only 1 number out of normal range on the blood work but my cholesterol ratio is fully normal
Month 38 – 10 pounds weight lost
Month 39 – 15 pounds down
Month 40 – TODAY I hit my triathlon weight

So yes 40 months in and I finally hit my first weight loss goal! Was it worth the wait? Absolutely! Have I reached my optimum health? I don’t think so! I don’t believe my body ever had a healthy gut so there is no way for me to know what total health looks or feels like … the journey isn’t over and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Sharing Health and Happiness is what I am all about!

Jan 23

Grieving With Hope

After the past months of a steady decline leading up to a couple of really hard weeks where all I know to do is fall on my face in the presence of God … He had me reflecting on all he has done and what he is teaching me. I’ve shared pieces and glimpses into our TBI journey, and God brought more than a few people into our world to help me process all that I am experiencing and some of them have no clue how much they have blessed me.

One of those people is my friend Jana Hooten.  She is teaching me how to grieve and how to rely on God for absolutely every need I have.  She had a daughter go to be with Jesus in a tragic accident on January 7, 2017 …. I have no clue what that pain is like as I have never had children.  She wrote something out of the depths of her grieving that I shared with my counselor and it became a huge part of my finally being able to put words to my feelings.  Below is her heart and words adapted to my TBI experience.  I would ask that you visit Ally’s Legacy to learn more about Jana’s amazing daughter and make a donation to build the gym at her school in her memory.

~~~~~

Becoming a TBI wife is not something I ever thought would be part of my reality.  I would never wish this on anyone …. and choosing to join communities and groups opens me up to helping a friend or family member who had something happen to their husband.  It is devastating to see new people joining these groups or having a friend ask if they can share my contact info with someone else.  I pray hard knowing another wife has to feel this pain and begin to walk this awful road without her partner to help carry her, guide her, or even be present for the journey. I also want to look them in the eye and say, “Just love them.” I know that may seem too simple but it’s really not. How?

1. Place no expectations on her. None. Get over the phone call that wasn’t returned, the text never answered and the thank you card never sent. She is just trying to survive. Your expectations will never be met. Never. If you’re looking for them to be, you’ll be the one who walks away disappointed. She’ll never know it happened because her life is a complete fog right now.

2. Realize that your friend isn’t the same person and she might never be. Actually, just count on her never being the same person. Her entire world turned upside down in a split second. I believe it would change you too.

3. Your friend just wants to be heard and understood. Listen more than you speak. Sit in silence. Let her cry.

4. Just do without asking. She seriously has no clue what she needs. She is working hard to remember to even breathe. Making decisions seems impossible most of the time. If you say, “call me if you need anything”… your phone will likely never ring. Think about necessities and needs. Just mow the lawn, show up with toilet paper, bring the dinner… don’t ask. Warrior wives are unusually bold. If we don’t want you to do something, we will tell you.

5. Don’t be offended when we forget – a lot. Grief brain is real. And don’t be offended when we say no or not now yet again. Somedays we just can’t. Some weeks we just can’t. And yes we are grieving … Don’t judge just accept. My husband is different both emotionally and physically so dreams took an unexpected turn if what we always wanted, worked for, and planned for can even still exist.

6. She needs you regularly. Every day hurts, not just the “big” days. The regular, ordinary days are the most painful. She needs to know you have her back.

7. Perhaps one of the most important things is this…your friend will need you for the long haul. If you’re not willing to commit, walk away. She will need you a year later as much as she did on day one – possibly even more. For how long? I don’t know. I’m 16 months in and still have times when it’s hard to breathe under the weight of it all and more days than I want to admit when I have no clue what I need or even how to ask for it. The decisions haven’t ended. The mounds of paperwork and medical bills are growing and the doctor and therapy appointments have no end in sight.

8. She needs you to pray for them. I’m not talking about a “bless their family” prayer before you dive into dinner. I’m talking “on your knees begging God to lift the load” kind of prayers. “Prayers” as in plural. They will need a lot of those prayers. They need you to intercede for them.

9. Know that it’s actually okay to walk away. Yes, that’s what I said. For a long while, it made me incredibly angry and also very sad when I realized that friends abandoned us.

Now, I am working to show grace in the hurt. The greatest pain they’ve ever known, is just that…the greatest pain they’ve ever known. I can’t expect them to know my pain or even be willing to see what deep-shocking-world-changing-pain looks like. I can’t understand their pain either. So, sometimes people walk away. I can only imagine that looking in the eyes of your friend and seeing someone who now feels like a complete stranger, because of the way the trauma has ravaged her, would cause some to choose to walk away – it’s their choice.

10. Above all….Love well showing grace.

It’s a commitment. A long-term one. But one day, I believe the haze will fade, the darkness will start to see a sliver of light and I pray you’ll be standing there with them. Do it because you love them. It’s worth it!

 

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

Thank you Jana for your walk with Jesus, for living out your faith, and sharing your wisdom to help me take a big step forward in letting go …

Sep 05

Getting Well – Move?

This isn’t exactly the move that I had planned on talking about … we will pick back up with movement once we finish this multi-room move/home transformation.

Thad is struggling with getting in and out of our garden tub and so we began the process of converting our bathroom into a walk-in shower.  It is going to be amazing and will give Thad much more self care independence at home!  We guessed it would be a 4-6 week process when we realized that we are going to be re-doing our kitchen as well – SURPRISE!

So back to where it all started …. 5 years ago, we had a flood in our kitchen from our upstairs neighbors master bathroom and the main waterline that serves the upstairs units of our condo building.  It was a fun time and we installed our dream Ikea kitchen.  My organized heart was singing!

All of the bells, whistles and space that was created in that custom space was heaven!  Over the summer, we realized that most of our doors were “peeling”. The banding around the edges was coming off and so we went to Ikea to find out how to fix it.  That is when we discovered how amazing Ikea is!!! They have an incredible warranty and they seriously stand behind their products.  All we had to do to start the process was provide our proof of purchase.

Soooooo – instead of moving our bodies and implementing dedicated exercise time …. we are moving out of our kitchen and out of our bathroom to start over!  Here are a few before photos – and I am so excited to see what the new one will look like!  Wish us luck!!!

Jul 28

9 months

It’s been 9 months since Thad’s accident …. and just like it takes that long to make a baby, it feels like we are finally getting to a place of understanding more about this new life we have. Progress is not as expected but stability is a very good thing at this point in life.  After his last MRI, we learned that there was actually “a slow leak” somewhere as there is blood staining in 3 different areas of his brain.  It was a shock to learn this now, though I praise God for protecting Thad while this was unknown – it had potential to be bad and instead we get to praise God for yet another layer of protection.

We are also getting a lot of opportunity to see how Thad deals with stress because there is never a dull moment in the Arms household.  My mom suddenly got sick at the end of June and we are just finding out the real impacts.  It will be an interesting transition for my whole family as we learn to live with her brain issues that stem from liver disease.  The difficult news about my mom is challenging for Thad and I as well as for my brother.  He had his first ever seizure at work that is believed to be stress related.

Planning to take a few weeks to be still again and be with family as we work through all of the changes …. Stress takes its toll and we need to take care of ourselves and each other. Be good to each other and call your family and tell them you love them!

Jul 02

Getting Well – Hydrate!

Your body depends on water to survive. Every cell, tissue, and organ in your body needs water to work properly.  Our bodies us water to maintain our body temperature.  It flushes out toxins through liquid waste as well as supporting bowel regularity.  It helps to lubricate our joints to make movement easier.  It also keeps all of our tissues moist and functioning optimally.

The very act of living causes us to lose water through breathing, sweating, and digestion. There are many indicators that we are dehydrated and most of the time, we don’t connect the dots to call it what it is if there isn’t another known cause for the symptom:

  • Increased thirst
  • Dry mouth
  • Tired or sleepy
  • Decreased urine output or its darker than normal
  • Headache
  • Dry skin
  • Dizziness
  • Low grade fever
  • Heartbeat feels quick
  • Rapid breathing
  • Sunken eyes
  • Confusion or irritability
  • Fainting

Kind of shocking isn’t it to realize how little water most of us drink!  When I first started on Plexus, I wasn’t a big water drinker.  I believed the myth that all liquid intake was created equal – iced tea, Dr. Pepper, orange juice, frozen margaritas – if it was liquid – I counted it!

So how much water should you drink?  It’s an individual amount, as hydration needs vary from person to person.  The amount of water we need depends on size, body composition, activity level, stress level, the climate or temperature, medical conditions and our diet.

The most agreed upon recommendation at this time is to take your body weight (in pounds) and divide it by 2. This is the number of ounces of water that you should be drinking each day up to 100. For example, I weigh 190 pounds, so I will need 95 ounces of water per day – my goal is 6 – 16oz bottles since I don’t have any medical conditions that would cause my doctor to alter this recommendation.  If I am going to be outside in a Texas summer or working out intensely, I may need to add in another bottle or two.

For optimum usage and max benefits of the water you drink, here are a few suggestions.

  1. Right when you first wake up to get things lubricated and moving again
  2. 30 minutes before meals to get your stomach and digestive system ready to absorb nutrients
  3. When you are hungry, as a snack, between meals.  Often we don’t distinguish between hungry and thirsty.
  4. Before and after workouts.  It gets our bodies more pliable and ready to move and then rehydtrates after we’ve sweat.
  5. Many people find that they do better getting most of their water in by mid-afternoon to support digestion and elimination before going to bed. And too much too late in the day and you may be up and down all night disrupting sleep.
  6. Don’t guzzle it all at once.  I’ve seen studies that say we can’t absorb more than 8 ounces in a 15 minute window, so pace yourself
  7. Drink purified water – City flavored tap water often has chemicals (like chlorine) that tend to be harmful to us in high doses.  Choose a filter that works for you and gets you to the flavor you desire.  When you drink a lot of water, you will realize that water can have a flavor!

Drink up! Hydrate! Enjoy!